We’ve talked about how fear is normal – expected! – on the path to creating more of what we want in life. And we’ve also talked about strategies to start befriending your fear.
Now I want to dive into the sneakiest aspect of fear, and why it is so easy for fear to stop us.
Fear likes to show up in disguise as something else… so we don’t even see it and recognize it!
(And if we don’t see it then we can’t befriend it… sneaky right?)
Here’s a few ways fear may be showing up in disguise:
“I’m not ready yet / I don’t know enough yet”
If you have put in the work to build your skills AND still don’t feel like you are ready… chances are there is some fear kicking in. Perfectionism. Analysis paralysis. These can all be symptoms of a deeper fear around feeling like you don’t know enough and don’t want to let people down. The ‘not enough’ fear is one I know all to well and even after 20 years in business it will still sneak up and bite me in the butt “You can’t do that Tina! You don’t know enough yet…” Usually coupled with a healthy dose of “who do you think you are?” or “Can’t you just be happy with what you have?”
“I can’t find clients / There are no good clients out there”
This is one I hear ALOT – especially from newer business owners or those who are transitioning to something new. Here’s the thing – if others are successful doing what you want to do, then it means there are good clients out there. Allow me to say this with all the love in my heart… it’s not that there aren’t clients out there for you, it’s that your fear is stopping you from finding them. Fear of failure – that you might put yourself out there and fall flat on your face (which we all do btw.) Fear of success – that you may create something amazing and outshine those around you (which can be a biggie!)
“I’m confused / I don’t think I want this after all”
This right here is a doozy and one that keeps SO many folks stuck. You decide you want something, you work towards it, get your first client/project/opp then decide “Nah, this isn’t what I want.” So you find something else, work towards it, get your first client and feel the same way again so you keep on looking… wondering when you will ever find ‘the thing’ so you can finally be successful. Confusion is just fears way to talk yourself out of your own success… usually right when you are on the verge of a breakthrough! If you find yourself in a confusion loop ask yourself “Is it that I don’t know what I want? Or is it that I know what I want but am afraid that I can’t have it? That I’m not ready, not good enough, won’t succeed, etc….”
I’m curious if any of these resonate with you? I daresay I’ve lived them all at some point on my journey (and still do.)
If you look back at this list you will see that these are all REASONABLE explanations. On the surface, they seem to make sense and are logical… which is why they are so sneaky! When fear shows up as a reasonable explanation we can so easily talk ourselves out of taking the steps we want to take, because we have a good excuse not too.
Make a list of all the reasons why you haven’t yet achieved what you want, and look for the fear underneath. You might be surprised at what you find.