letting go of this was a doozy!

Oct 20, 2019

“Authentic growth comes from what we don’t know” ~ The Presence Process

The question is – are we willing to go there?

When I was on retreat back in August we did a ritual where we released something that was no longer serving us.

I choose to release “needing to figure it all out”. I wanted to be purposeful to tap more into my intuition and spiritual guidance.

Well beware what you wish for right? Letting go of the need to figure things out is a doozy!

Especially when I’m really good at it. Especially when I’ve made a living from it. Especially for a control freak like me who likes to lay it all out and make it happen. Who likes to feel like she’s got it all figured out (under control) <—- perhaps you can relate?

So I come home after my retreat and find myself in a place of clearing. I felt very clearly that I was being called to create space. Plans I has already made were cancelled. Programs I was ready to promote were put on the shelf.

And I found myself in a place of not knowing. The pause between what was and what is coming.

But I couldn’t see what was coming next! What was coming down the pipeline? And that has been the challenging/fascinating part.

It’s like those old cartoons where I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.

The angel is saying “Be still Tina. All is well. You are supported and the answers will come at the right time.”

Then the devil on the other shoulder is saying “But we aren’t DOING anything right now! We need to be doing stuff. Making things happen. It’s irresponsible to just sit here and wait! Have you lost your mind?” (Yes, as a matter of fact I have)

It’s the struggle of faith and ego. Spirit and mind.

And yet, because I had chosen to let go of the need to figure it out… I let myself stay in that space of mystery. Of not knowing. Yet trusting.

As I stay in this space things have started showing up.

I’ve started sharing more of my spiritual side – coming out of the ‘woo’ closet as I like to say. It’s always been there and I’ve hidden it for years.

I’ve started the Intersection group on Facebook which has been SO much fun!

I did a webinar last week to talk about and explore the Intersection of Spirit and Business together.

And there is still so much I don’t yet know. I still don’t have it figured out… and yet, I’m OK with it now. When I have my EEEK! moments they don’t last as long. I’m able to come back to ‘not knowing’ and trusting it will all be well.

It’s also a lot more fun to live in the mystery of it all. Like reading a really great book and not knowing what’s on the next page!

And so I marinate in not knowing. Curious to see what comes up next and trusting the process.

What are you marinating in these days?



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