It’s been almost 4 years since I got divorced, and although that time was challenging on many levels there was one thing that (secretly) hurt me the most.
It was when people would say “Tina, I’m so sorry! How are the girls? You are so strong, I know you’ll be fine…”
It was said with love and the best of intention – I get that. But every time someone said it I would think:
“What about me? Why don’t they ask how I’m doing?”
The truth is that I am strong. I could take care of everything during this challenging time. My girls and I would be fine – I knew that.
BUT I secretly craved support. I wanted nothing more than to have someone say “Tina, let me help you here. Let me take this off your shoulders.”
I didn’t know how to ask for that support – so it didn’t happen.
Truth be told I’m sure it was offered at times but my own beliefs that “I have to take care of everyone, and I have to take care of things on my own” would have blinded me to it.
As time went on it became obvious that I could NOT keep doing it all alone. In order to keep running my business as a single mama I had to learn how to ask for – and RECEIVE – support.
I had to learn how to stop feeling GUILTY about asking for help and instead embrace it as a gift from one human to another.